I am Pastor Joy Gonnerman, ordained into Word and Sacrament in the ELCA. I am the creator and curator of the content on this website. There is a reason that public theology and witness is a necessary track for discipleship. One is the call of Jesus to get out of the boat (see Bonhoeffer in our mission statement). But the other is this – an eight-year-old boy looked at me and said, “God hates me because I want to die.” When he told me this, my heart broke. How would this child come to this conclusion about God and what has happened to this child that he, at eight-years-old, wants to die?
Trauma is the number one cause of disordered substance use and/or being in the penal or foster care system. This child was an unplaced foster child, and someone thought it was both necessary to damn and shame him. From the youth and children I worked with as a certified prevention specialist, I heard that most of the trauma they experienced came from Christians and the teachings of the church. I do not doubt their words. While some might speak of tough love, Jesus does not. Can we at least agree that the church should not be in the business of causing harm?
I have served several congregations as their called pastor. Two of these congregations told me to leave because I did not do what I was told to do. One was because I advocated for the queer girls on the high school basketball team against the personal beliefs of their basketball coach. She was a member of my congregation, not used to being contradicted, and she had made her god in her own image so that her god hated the same people she hated. An idol. The second call I lost was because I welcomed an exchange student from Gaza in my home and some believed a Christian pastor should not have a Muslim in her home. These were both hills upon which I was, and am, willing to die.
Not everyone in these congregations agreed with the sentiments of a few. But the few had the power and as bullies do and wielded it with practiced skill. The fact is that churches as institutions are concerned about survival: paying the bills, which means keeping members, which means we don’t want to offend anyone (particularly the big givers), and we want church to make us feel better about ourselves. So, those who want to actually address questions of queerness, occupation, other faiths, other skins, social justice, black lives matter, immigration, Christian nationalism, Christian Zionism, the gospel…get thwarted in the name of keeping the peace. While I understand fear, few churches make the leap to grasp that while addressing these issues might lose folks, it also might welcome more. The church should be as the very least, about the gospel. The gospel is dangerous, political (not partisan), and calls us to be brave. Following Jesus means that we go where he leads. Jesus never asks to be worshipped. He tells us to feed the hungry.
So, public theology and witness suits me well. I will not be confined by church councils, long-time bullies, and the frustratingly common pulling-of-punches to keep everyone happy. Public theology is wearing my faith on my sleeve and in current America it is becoming dangerous. But we follow a crucified Christ so, if we are following him, we too will end up on a cross.
I was raised in the church and believe she can extend the love of God into the world in a different way than individuals can. But this outward facing direction is key to the work of the church. The church teaches those in the pews to take their faith with them into the world from Sunday afternoon thru Saturday. She can teach people who to affect policy by voting for the good of the neighbor. To affect education by sitting on school boards or attending meetings. To show up with Jesus to protests. God was born under occupation, to the occupied, and directed our attention to the sparrow, the lilies, the children, the prisoner, stranger, sick, hungry, thirsty. Jesus also pointed out systems where individuals may have been faithful but fell victim to the group. These he called “brood of vipers.” When the church becomes a brood of vipers, we must call her out.
So, at the very least the church should not cause harm. Choosing wealthy givers over the outcast is decidedly not following Jesus. Appeasing the powerful is decidedly not following Jesus. And traumatizing eight-year-old children by telling or showing them that they are hated by God is decidedly not following Jesus. I invite you join me out of the comfort and safety of the boat.